Welcome to the Venceremos podcast.

I'm your host slash personal
hype woman, Yesenia Villalta.

On this show, I'll be discussing
and providing you professional and

practical tips, as well as a bit of
my personal experiences to help guide

you on your journey to reclaiming
your mind, body, soul, and boundaries.

If you're ready, let's go.

What up, what up, what up, mi gente?

It's Yesenia, your personal hype woman.

Bueno, let me ask you something.

Can you think of a time in your life where
you had to make a decision and you had

to step into something new and different
or stay and be with the familiar?

Have you

found yourself in that space?

And could you have self sabotaged
by not seeking the new, by

not challenging yourself?

If it's one thing that I have learned
over the years and I now can just

stand 10 toes down on is that you
cannot have growth without grief.

You can't have it.

They're one in the same.

It looks different and there's
levels to it, but where

there's growth, there is grief.

So.

Today, I'm going to be talking about how
to navigate when you're in this tough

spot and you need to make a decision.

And this was informed by a
recent experience that I had

over the next couple episodes.

I'm going to be speaking to just
the experiences around separating

and when you're trying to elevate.

So actually that is the theme for this
season, separation equals elevation,

and it was inspired by, uh, when this
episode and I, I had seen, um, the story

of LaRussell, a rapper that you gotta
check out, he's in the Bay Area, he, he

spoke something to that fact, but, This
is something that my clients go through,

that I have gone through, that I've
seen it, it has phases of when you have

to step away into uncharted territory,
when you have to step away from the

norm, when you have to step away from
your city, from your town, from your

country, when you're, like, shedding
certain family and cultural beliefs,

there is a separation that takes place.

And, in fact, In my opinion,
actually separation is a

prerequisite towards elevation.

The separation is going to just come
even from your thought patterns.

And so growth and grief.

I remember I was thinking about this
time when I was in high school and I

got promoted or I don't even remember
how it worked, but I got put into honors

English and I was the only Latina in
the classroom that looked like me, and

can I tell you, Ya girl self sabotaged.

I got out of there as fast as I could
and was like, Take me back to my people.

What the fuck is this
Dante's Inferno book?

I don't give a fuck about no Dante.

Now, looking back on it,
you know, honestly, Crap me.

I think I may be interested in it,
but back then, no, House on Mango

Street was the only book I read in
high school, well that and The Rose

that Grew from Concrete because I did
a project on Tupac and I read all the

things about Tupac at that time, I
think that was like freshman year, but

I was shooketh, I felt so alone in that
classroom, I felt like I didn't fit in.

However, I was judging that based on
familiarity, and on who looks like me, and

you know, your girl came out fine, like I
did not flunk out of high school because

I didn't go through with honors English.

However, I have to be honest and tell you.

that it was giving, it was giving
a throwback recently when I had to

make a decision on whether I would
stay in the Migo hood or leave.

And so I'm going to share with you some
of the things that I walked through

as well as some tips to help you.

And, um, so the Migo hood, the Migo
hood is You know, it's your hood,

but it's predominantly latinx folks
You know, you can find people having

parties on the like the sidewalk using
any and every space that there is like

a packed balcony You can see the kids
running around fucking screaming at

all hours of the night too, but neither
here nor there Fireworks going off.

You can see the paletero um the ice
cream person on their bike And you

know, I have a pit bull dog at a rescue.

So You can also see other pitbulls, you
can see other, um, dog owners and dog

mamas, you know, you look at each other
and it's like, yo, what up, respect.

And the grass is beautiful,
while at the same time, maybe

on the other side, there's some
Heineken broken glass bottles.

And

it's home.

It's culture.

The, hi, how are you, hola,
como estas, bien, gracias, you

know, when you see each other.

There's a sense of safety, though at
the same time, there isn't, because

while there's beautiful aspects to
it, as a woman, as a young girl.

There's also the having to grab
your key by your knuckles and kind

of clench and be ready to defend
yourself when you're passing by a

group of men that are making comments.

And so I found myself in this space
when I realized that I was not

going to go to California as I had
been thinking I would do for the

past, honestly, year and a half.

It was a matter of, okay,
where am I gonna go?

Where am I gonna live?

And I had been looking at apartments.

I had been doing a lot of visualizing
and that was a whole process.

But I could either stay in Amigo
Hood, the apartments like literally

right behind my parents, stay at
my parents, or get an apartment in

a nicer side of the area where I.

Don't necessarily see as many people
that look like me and Honestly, I'm very

thankful for the support and the people
that I had in place that I have in place.

One of them being my money coach that
was able to spot like my scarcity, um,

mindset coming through where I, I was
very much entertaining, like, okay,

I'll just stay here and I'll just get
another office and I'll just like invest

in other like amenities or a coworking
space or something here or there.

And I had to name it and realize, wait,
This is giving that throwback, like

that time when I got promoted and I was
growing, but a part of me was shrinking.

And so, I think about, I really had
to sit down with what was important.

And it came down to a couple of
things that I took into consideration.

Number one, my values.

It is so crucial for you
to have an understanding on

what is important for you.

Your values are not just
like your interests.

They're like inherent beliefs
that guide, guide you in how you

move and navigate in the world.

And this is fundamental because
your values inform your standards.

Let me say this again, your values and
belief systems inform your standards,

your standards for experiences,
your standards for relationships.

over all your standards.

And what tends to happen when you're
growing, when you're becoming, uh, whole,

you know, when you are getting out of
survival mode, when you are increasing

in, let's say, um, your income, you know,
your salary bracket or in mindset and

growth and knowledge, your taste changes.

So your values and your
belief systems also change.

And so I had to be honest with myself and
as I had my office, I've had my office

for three years, I was getting to a
place where like I needed more fluidity

in how I moved throughout the day.

It was becoming more Bothersome where
I would be in my creative flow and I'd

have to go to the office and then come
back Or if something happened or if

there was a reschedule like all that time
and energy That was like spent it was

sapping from my creativity and I needed
an open space that's well lit where

I could like put out papers and just
kind of flow and I I Don't have that.

I didn't have that.

And it was really beginning
to impact my productivity.

And so I also am very clear at this stage
in my life of how much I prioritize peace

and health, especially with having had a
history of some of some health challenges.

And so once I really Looked at like,
Yesenia, what's important to you.

I had to examine how I feel.

So this is where we come to the
body and the nervous system.

Think of your nervous system
as like you're like a computer,

like operating system.

We know that there's stuff in there.

Like I'm looking at my
Mac book air right now.

Like I know that there's stuff in here.

There's wires, there's lights, there's
things that are zapping and moving

and communicating with one another.

that allows this computer to function.

That is what your nervous system is.

It is responsible for your
movement, your reflexes.

I mean, just so many things.

So it is your nervous system, your
operating system, your brain and

your body are in communication.

And so your brain and your body
are also registering when something

feels scary and something.

doesn't.

And so it is responsible for
detecting threat and keeping you safe.

And it just became more and more and
more apparent that I was not feeling

ease in certain times in my neighborhood.

Now, growing up, I was used to responding
and reacting a certain way, but at

this stage in my life, I don't want To
be on like some get ready nook if you

buck type of thing um, and so i'm gonna
talk about briefly about a couple of

responses, so Let's say we're watching a
scary movie And whenever we're watching

a scary movie where maybe there's
like an attacker or like, I don't

know friday the 13th or what is it?

Michael myers Or scream let's say scream.

Okay,

you have a person that's gonna fight Like
you have a person that the adrenaline is

like just flowing and they're gonna look
for a weapon They're not gonna run like

hell they will yell back at the attacker
That is the fight or flight response

There are certain characteristics that
go with that, but, you know, that person

is not going to run from it, they're
going to run towards it, and they're

very much in service of self defense.

All of these survival responses that I'm
about to mention are survival responses.

So, no judgment.

Literally, this is just how you react.

This is just how you react.

So you have the person that fights,
then you have the person that freezes.

Like, you know when you watch somebody and
you start screaming at them like, Oh, run!

Like, why don't you do something?

That is the freeze response.

And then you also have the person,
though, that will like, comply.

They will be like, what do you want?

What do you need?

How much money?

Like, what did I do?

What can I say?

Like, I'll do whatever you want and need.

That response is the FON response.

When those are activated over long periods
of time, that can create health issues.

And so as somebody that has known what
it's like to feel when I'm calm and I'm

feeling safe and has experienced health
issues from long periods of time of not,

that to me is no longer a non negotiable.

And this is going to be one of the
key things when you are wanting to

make significant changes and you
want to get out of survival mode.

It is now no longer about
just, am I saving money?

Is this familiar?

It's how does my body feel?

Do I feel comfortable?

And for me, when it was all said and
done, I wouldn't have felt as like I could

walk around being my full self or like
being worried if I'm wearing shorts or

comments and gawking and things like that.

And then lastly, I really had to examine
like, why, why is this important for me?

Why is this so important?

Like where I live, where I move.

And when it's all said and done my
purpose, like my purpose of how my ability

to show up, but also because I'm in a
space in my life where I value also ease.

I value ease and I also value experiences.

And so where I'm moving to, it's
in a place where I can have that.

And so just a summary, things that
I took into consideration, I took

into account my values like what
is really important to me just as

a person that informs my standards.

And so.

For me, it's I don't want to have to
fucking worry about walking around, seeing

certain things, experiencing certain
comments, but also my productivity, like

what do I need to be more productive?

Very importantly, my body.

I'm a firm believer that the body
knows, el cuerpo sabe, but because of

stress, because of historical trauma.

because of different messages,
individual experiences.

We're not always as connected to it,
but the op, going back to like the

operating system, a computer, like it
knows it'll tell you signals, right?

Like when you got too many tabs
open, a baby starts slowing down.

It may start like glitching.

That is how we operate as beings too.

And When I really came down to that,
there was just no denying about what would

allow me to flourish, if you will, in
this next season and be more productive,

feel more at ease, and you're going
to get to a space where like it's not

just about The money and certain things
and the why, you know, and that helped

me to not internalize guilt that I'm
forgetting where I come from, which is

also another challenge that my clients
experience and the, but the reality is

if I'm not feeling as comfortable, if I'm
not as productive, if my mind isn't as,

and my body isn't as present, my impact.

is definitely going to be like my,
my ability to help people that's

gonna negatively be impacted.

And so it wasn't any more about
I'm forgetting where I come from.

Rather, I can show up fuller.

I can show up better, more effective,
more efficient when I take care of me

first, which brings me to my last why.

And it's simply because I
fucking deserve good things.

Which is, I know it feels like, what?

But yes, when your baseline is survival,
when your baseline is scarcity, when

your baseline is struggle, really
receiving the practice that art are

receiving and affirming to yourself
that you deserve nice things.

That is work.

And so I hope this was helpful.

Please let me know any
questions that you have.

Uh, trying not to self sabotage
like your girl did back then.

I was so thankful that I
didn't, but your girl was close.

And so know that you are not alone.

These are things that I wish I knew when
I started my healing journey that I see

clients experience and You are in the
right space, but this is the time to

center you Decenter everybody else and
then it's just a matter of what's gonna

be in alignment and in best service of
you and where you're going And your goals.

All right, that's it for today
Vinceremos, we shall overcome